New Year & New Story

Prospect Ave fire

Love is a story that brings goodness even in difficult times. Last month a 3 year old child playing with a gas stove in the Bronx, New York set a building on fire that killed 13 lives. Under these tragic circumstances Love united people from all faith walks, age and ethnic groups in one of the most tragic fires in decades in NYC history. People brought clothes, toiletries, water, toys, linen, and other basic items to a school to comfort the displaced families. The media made it all personal by interviewing families who reported the chilling stories as they spoke to their loved ones during the fire. One mother died holding her daughter as she seek refuge in a bath tub. Who is to say the child accused in this incident turned on the gas burner because it was too cold? Sometimes tragedies are preventable. The Fire Marshals assessed the scene and found several violations in the 100 year old building. Unfortunately, NYC Housing Authority is the biggest slum landlord. I grew up in them. My mom lives in one of their senior apartment complex. During my stay I called the repair hotline to report mom had no hot water, and other issues. The customer service rep said someone  would be there in 24 hours and they never show up while I was there. Management folks are lazy. In person I had a stern attitude to get things done. My mom was told to update her information online. I had to inform the manager  here is the information you need. Mom doesn't have access to a computer and speaks, reads and writes in Spanish. Furthermore, I had to make him aware we were the only ones in his office and there was no one in the lobby so please help. He gave me a bad attitude and it took him 40 mins to do the "simple" task because he knows how to navigate the system. It was stressful as my patience was tested. I empathized with my brother who deals with system much frequently. He would have handle the situation much more aggressive and brought the down the saints from heaven to appease him due to the lack of professionalism of the manager.

Bronx River Projects

Candles lights for the fire victims 

I grew up in the projects and many instances our source of heat was boiling water and plenty of layers of clothing. We felt and looked like Ralphy in the Christmas Story movie. Since my mom is a Spanish news junkie, one day alone the NYC Housing maintenance hotline had over 40,000 calls. Many buildings during the snow cyclone had no heat or hot water. Being in NYC reminded me of where I came from and what the Lord rescue me from. I attended schools with children who had Street Sisters and drug dealers as parents. Some of my friends ended in dangerous life styles. I lost friends to street violence. As so many fires were blasted in the news I remembered losing friends to a fire the building across from where I grew up. Patricia and  her siblings lived on the 14th floor and burned alive while shouting for help from a bedroom window. Grief is real and a lot of folks in NYC light candles in the dark moments of pain. I was reminded to talk to the trench workers at the Love Drop-In Center. Every month we need to do a small memorial service to our Street Sisters and Brothers who die daily to crime especially the opiate addiction. Light is hope in darkness. God had a way for a family emergency to make me end 2017 and start the New Year in my home town. New York is so rich in culture and money yet poverty is everywhere. The place where New York Stock Exchange and United Nations are located it amazes me how culturally and in money it so rich and poverty is everywhere. In comparison to the five boroughs the Bronx has the highest poverty and crime rate. It is where the Yankees Stadium is located.

I was glad to be in New York City the capital of diversity for the holidays. I had all the traditional Puerto Rican food and spent quality time with my family. In the midst of chaos,

tragedy, poverty, slum landlords, & I can't ignore the snow bomb cyclone, Love was evident! People gather to serve each other in joy and mourning. I had to watch the Spanish programs and the news every evening. The news seem to be one sided. My mom is one sided. I honor, respect and most importantly I love her. The love of a parent is special. She remembers my likes and dislikes. She stills sees me as a little girl. I didn't want to talk to her about politics and it happened. I wasn't politically correct with her. One thing about my mom she is stubborn. Her way is the only way even if it doesn't make sense.  Her opinions are valid. Immigration is being talked about everywhere even in the elevators. There were instances I wanted to laugh at her so hard so I smiled. I would introduced her to the other side of a topic about an overburden system and the wall that is going to be built. (I don't believe the wall is the solution in the border). My mom shut me up with her Spanish remarks! "You are daughter of an immigrant and you have been a blessing to many because you were given opportunities in the land of opportunities. The children of immigrants born here are innocent and they are better off here than in the homeland of their parents. Esther, have you not seen those children you help abroad, they are dieing?" As she spoke I had many flashbacks of both the dead and those living I had an opportunity to serve. Mom is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!  I excluded her comments about President Trump since the irony of her comments would be lost in translation. A parent's love is unconditional. My mom still to this day don't know what I do in Columbus, Ohio and some of the risky missions abroad. I only talk to her about the good things and she knows there are challenges. My Mom has mental illness. Here in NYC chaos her physicians, counselor, and aides speak Spanish and are culturally competent. The counselor is able to keep her straight when she tries to manipulate him to see her point of view.

My little Sister, Sarah

Hurting folks are good in manipulation. People working with them need to be experts to catch them in their bluff. I have seen and experienced a lot with our first safe house. Gilgal #1 as a transitional house has been extremely challenging. The women come from difficult backgrounds and don't like boundaries. They love self-pity. They take and don't want to give back. This year it will be different. At times they are confrontational and disrespectful. We are about self-sustainability. We are not welfare. We are Help Care. Sarah Parker, has been volunteering as a case manager. She is an amazing trench worker, a jack of all traits in and out of the alleys and been my moral and emotional support. We have been mutually therapeutic to one another. This year it is all about tough love. Case Managers who read this blog please make sure they meet our one page criteria and willing to follow the house rules. No flexibility this time! We have a zero tolerance for nonsense. Sarah's personal story made her suitable for this position. Her mom was Bonita Parker, a street sister killed closely to 30 years ago. Justice prevailed when the killer was identified last year due to his DNA.  Sarah has empathy and gifted for this task. Efficiency at it's best she managed to get the girls out within the time frame. I am sure all the 8 served in our first year experienced some bitter and more better moments at the Gilgal #1. Nevertheless they all experienced a collision with love, grace, and mercy.

January is human trafficking awareness month I think about one of our nonviolent freedom fighters, Martin Luther King. He was one of the greatest civil right activist of the 20th century  who left a legacy. He said "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." He knew love is the element of change despite of life challenges  it is needed to overcome hatred and ALL TYPES of INEQUALITIES. Love is not a monetary currency it is relational. It is naturally found in all of us; we need to cultivate it with someone or in a group. LOVE is REVOLUTIONARY. This new year I am not about resolutions ALL in for the LOVE REVOLUTION even if I die or go to jail for my compassion. I desire to be an agent of change with the support of fellow trench workers to richly blessed as we continue the war against human trafficking, opiate addiction and poverty. Maybe for once the media can look to us for answers. Trench workers are indigenous leaders which makes them transformational in their strategies because they are in the places working with people who are ignored and considered worthless. I am one of those worthless folks but I am loved by them and my comrades as well. In capitalism my multi-billion love currency is useless. Everything is all about how much you have in your bank account. Another year past in which I was declined for a business loan. I have a dream about more buildings and houses to come on our laps! It means I will have a bigger faith this year. My fellow comrades will continue to live by the golden rule every day from sun set to sun down. We have identified through the voices of the folks we serve the medication assisted program drug Suboxone has proven to be ineffective treatment in the opiate crisis while the doctors, court systems, prisons, clinics, and rehab programs receives a financial cut from pharmaceutical manufacturers who create these legal medical synthetics drugs. Now this year there is a group pushing for recreational marijuana. On the Hilltop, Marijuana is affordable but it is laced with Fentanyl. Weed is not an opiate however the side effects are the same it effects the mid-brain, the sensory and emotion compartment. It takes 72 hrs to feel better after going cold turkey from opiates and it takes 2 weeks to go through withdrawals from THC. HELLO we have not even won the war with opiates now we are ready for another one.

Leaders need to be transparent. I am not perfect. I make mistakes and that is part of human nature. Last year, I was pissed off  by some incompetent folks who wanted a platform and caught in their lies.  Kathleen Martin has been my buffer to keep me in alignment. Brilliant and sometimes militant but with love. She is an Army Veteran. I learn from her to move on pick your battles even when all odds are against you. Sometimes a mistake provides a moment of compassion to someone going through it. Your story is a message of hope and healing even with start up nonprofits. My personal story has been shared with a few street sisters who asked. I am an open love letter. They hug me and cry. I am sure those tears were cleansing as I pray for them. Sometimes when two heart beats come together there is transference of  good energy. I know my heart is right. The Street sisters have radiant smiles when we connect. They thank you and of course say I Love You and they mean it. Human contact and healthy touch is comforting and releases dopamine the neural transmitter they desire. Any woman can be in their position. Some live in the suburbs addicted to pills and alcohol they hurt like my Street Sisters. My heart goes out to them wherever they at. Betrayal, being lied to, and experiencing all types of abuse hurts tears a person down. The stories of  my lovely street sisters are tragic. On the last blog I wrote about a survivor of human trafficking who relapsed to the devils drug, heroin and was on life support. Her soul now rest in peace and her son will be raised by her mom. My mission this year is for them is to experience something better with the trench workers at the Love Drop-In Center. Those trench workers are amazing they are true hearts of compassion who are faithful and love not only in words but in action.  My New Story involves all types of trench workers here and elsewhere, young and wise, in and out of the front lines in schools, churches, camps, shelters, and wherever including government offices we want a healthy city and state. Trench workers from Columbus and nation ARISE & UNITE for this FIGHT we can win any war as we live by the Golden Rule. Our motto is Hope is our Dope.

If there is anyone struggling with addiction don't repeat history. You have everything in you to start a new chapter from your book. Right now surrender to the God who created you! You master the substance! The substance doesn't master you. You were born innocent and to be LOVE. Give up the addiction Allow Hope to Be Your Dope. Your decision to give up your addiction will be your Love Story for someone in the near future. Go ahead set the world on fire, be a leader even if you need to crawl in your anguish. I know of a tribe that will crawl with you! Martin Luther King said it best “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." Dope and other illicit drugs is a temporary escape of hurt yet it keeps you stagnant simply STUPID. We will need more Love Drop-In Centers I see some lives change already. We need them with showers so they can feel clean (a part of therapy) and lounge with a few cots so the girls to rest. Faith Community Church, a store front church has agreed to allow us to be there rent free for now. I love Pastor Jeff, Sue Ben, and my DUVALI sister, Veronica trench workers to the core. This year I am looking for a financial breakthrough there are several store front places on Sullivant Ave that would be perfect and of course the big dream of  the Love Depot that is across Gilgal #2. We have had some setbacks this year with Gilgal #2. However we have two houses, a small lot of land, the Love Bug, and the mighty trench workers who have partnered. We are small yet willing to rescue the women, children and others as we continue to run the race set before us to save lives through LOVE. Our Christmas party angels came through with the toys and coats for the kids, food and Christmas bags for the women it was warm and cozy. It was sad to see some of my sisters eat and get sick. I pray for the trench workers to be present when our hurting street family ask to be free from the chains of addiction and human trafficking. Hope, faith, and love are the links in my freedom chain and of course my Dope is Hope. Allow your New Story and one of your new year resolution for 2018 to be involved by sharing some love to strangers and become the Love Revolution. Embrace the moving words of Martin Luther King Jr  "Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”